New Year’s Resolutions. Why Are They So Difficult to Maintain?

The new year brings a sense of renewal, hope, and the promise of a fresh start.

Millions of people set New Year’s resolutions, hoping to transform their habits, improve their health, or achieve personal goals. Yet, studies consistently show that by mid-February, most resolutions have been abandoned.

Why is it so hard to stick to them?

The Problem With New Year’s Resolutions

Unrealistic Expectations

Many resolutions are overly ambitious. Setting a goal to lose 50 pounds in two months, wake up at 5 a.m. every day, or completely cut out sugar can set you up for failure.

These lofty expectations often lead to burnout or discouragement when progress isn’t immediate.

Vague Goals

Resolutions like “get healthier” or “be more productive” are common but lack specificity. Without clear, actionable steps, it’s hard to measure success or stay motivated.

All-or-Nothing Mentality

Resolutions often come with a sense of perfectionism. Missing a single workout or indulging in one dessert can make people feel like they’ve failed entirely, leading them to give up.

Relying on Willpower Alone

Change is hard, and willpower is a finite resource. Resolutions that don’t account for the underlying systems or habits needed to support change often fall apart under the weight of daily life.

External Pressure

Sometimes resolutions are driven by societal or peer expectations rather than personal motivation. Without genuine commitment, it’s tough to stay the course.

Better Alternatives to Traditional Resolutions

Instead of making lofty, rigid resolutions, consider adopting approaches that prioritize flexibility, sustainability, and meaningful progress.

Here are some better alternatives:

1. Focus on Small, Sustainable Habits

Big goals are often overwhelming, but small changes add up over time. Shift your mindset from achieving a giant transformation to mastering one small habit at a time.

Examples: • Replace “go to the gym every day” with “do 10 push-ups or take a 10-minute walk each

morning.” • Instead of “eat healthier,” start by adding one serving of vegetables to your meals daily.

By starting small, you build consistency without feeling overwhelmed. As these small habits become second nature, you can gradually add more.

2. Set Intentions, Not Goals

Goals are outcome-focused, while intentions emphasize how you want to feel or the values you want to live by. Intentions encourage mindfulness and adaptability.

Examples:

• Instead of “get promoted,” set the intention to “approach my work with creativity and

enthusiasm.”

• Swap “read 50 books” for “create space in my day for meaningful learning and

relaxation.”

Intentions allow for growth without the pressure of rigid benchmarks, making them easier to integrate into your daily life.

3. Reflect on Your ‘Why’

Understanding the deeper motivation behind your goals can make them more compelling and personal. Take time to journal or meditate on why you want to make a change.

Examples:

• If your resolution is to “exercise more,” your deeper “why” might be to have more

energy to play with your kids or to feel stronger and more confident.

• If you want to “save money,” the underlying motivation might be to reduce stress about finances or to fund a dream trip.

When you connect your actions to your values, it’s easier to stay motivated during tough moments.

4. Adopt Quarterly Reviews

Rather than setting a single goal for the entire year, break your year into four quarters. Quarterly reviews help you evaluate your progress and adjust based on your evolving circumstances.

How to Do It:

• At the start of each quarter, set a short-term focus. For instance, in Q1, aim to develop a

consistent bedtime routine.

• At the end of each quarter, reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and what you want to

prioritize next.

• Use tools like planners, digital calendars, or habit-tracking apps to keep track of your

goals.

This approach keeps your goals fresh and relevant while allowing for flexibility.

5. Celebrate Progress Over Perfection

Instead of focusing on whether you achieved a specific goal, celebrate the effort you’ve put in and the progress you’ve made, no matter how small.

Examples of Celebrations:

• Treat yourself to a new book after completing 20 minutes of daily exercise for a week.

• Share your progress with friends or family to reinforce your sense of accomplishment.

This mindset shift reduces guilt and keeps you motivated to continue.

6. Anchor Habits to Existing Routines

Adding new habits can feel daunting, but anchoring them to things you already do makes it easier to integrate them into your life.

• Examples:

    •  Pair “flossing” with brushing your teeth.

    •  Do a quick mindfulness exercise right before your morning coffee.

    •  Use the time waiting for your computer to boot up to stretch or do deep breathing.

By tying a new habit to an existing one, you create a natural cue that triggers the behavior.

7. Embrace the ‘Two-Minute Rule’

This strategy, popularized by James Clear in Atomic Habits, encourages you to start small—so small that it only takes two minutes. This reduces resistance to getting started and builds momentum.

Examples:

•  Instead of “write a novel,” commit to writing a single sentence daily.

• Instead of “meditate for 20 minutes,” begin with two minutes of focused breathing.

Once you’ve started, it’s often easier to keep going, and over time, you can expand the habit.

8. Turn Your Goals Into Experiments

Treat your goals as experiments rather than strict mandates. This reframes “failure” as learning and helps you stay curious about the process.

Examples:

• Instead of “stop drinking coffee,” experiment with replacing one cup of coffee with tea

and track how it makes you feel.

• Instead of “start a side hustle,” experiment with dedicating two hours a week to

exploring potential ideas.

This playful mindset keeps the pressure low and the experience enjoyable.

9. Build Accountability and Support

It’s easier to stick to changes when you have a support system. Share your intentions with a friend or join a community aligned with your goals.

Examples:

    • Join a walking group to stay active.

    • Partner with a friend to check in weekly about your progress.

    • Use accountability tools like apps (e.g., Habitica, Strides) to track progress.

Having others cheer you on or hold you accountable makes your goals feel more tangible.

10. Give Yourself Grace

Change is a journey, not a sprint. Accept that setbacks are part of the process, and allow yourself to recalibrate without guilt.

Examples of Reframing:

    • Instead of “I failed to stick to my meal plan this week,” say, “This week was a challenge,

but I can make a fresh start tomorrow.”

    • Instead of giving up on a skipped habit, remind yourself that missing one day doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made.

The goal is consistency, not perfection. Being kind to yourself helps you stay resilient.

By choosing approaches like these, you’ll find that change feels less daunting and more sustainable. Rather than chasing perfection in January, you’ll build habits and intentions that support growth throughout the year.

If you need help with making and keeping your New Year's Resolutions, we can help. Contact us for a FREE 30 minute No-Obligation consulting call. We'll talk about what you want to accomplish in the coming year and look to see how we can help you develop a plan to stay on track.

When You're Ready, Let's Talk.

Disclaimer

The content on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional mental health care. Reading these posts does not establish a therapeutic relationship, and the information provided should not be used as a substitute for personalized mental health treatment.

If you are experiencing distress, struggling with your mental health, or believe you may have a mental health condition, please consult a licensed mental health professional who can assess your unique situation and provide appropriate guidance.

In case of a mental health emergency, please seek immediate support by contacting 911 or a mental health crisis hotline such as 988, reaching out to a qualified professional, or going to your nearest emergency facility.